Born What Way?

Lady Gaga released the “Born This Way” video,  available in YouTube. It is disjointed and unfortunately gratuitous. There are two parts to the video; a monologue introduction, and your standard music video. The parts do not really go together, although they are probably supposed to. This is the opening monologue (written by Gaga):

This is the manifesto of Mother Monster. On G.O.A.T., a Government Owned Alien Territory in space, a birth of magnificent and magical proportions took place. But the birth was not finite, it was infinite. As the wombs numbered and the mitosis of the future began, it was perceived that this infamous moment in life is not temporal, it is eternal. And thus began the beginning of the new race, a race within the race of humanity, a race which bears no prejudice, no judgement, but boundless freedom. But on that same day the eternal mother hovered in the multi-verse, a more terrifying birth took place, the birth of evil. And as she herself split into two, rotating in agony between two ultimate forces, the pendulum of choice began its dance. It seems easy to imagine, to gravitate instantly and unwaveringly towards good. But she wondered, how can I protect something so perfect without evil?

My first concern is that Gaga and her people do not know what a manifesto is. She threatens with a manifesto and offers a cheap genesis, a porous philosophy of the dualist birth of Gaga and Evil in G.O.A.T., a conveniently dissonant acronym for an alien planet. Then there are words like womb and mitosis that are thrown in to legitimize the primordial analogy. Needless to say, these fail , because the monologue is absurd, and thus impossible to legitimize. The new race within the race is also quite complicated since races, or human races, are all within the ‘human race.’ Is this a new and separate race to the three human races, African, Asian and Caucasian? Or is Gaga’s new race a sub-race of one of these? And how is a race within the human race being created in an alien territory? All pressing questions.

Then there is the video, once is starts of course. It demonstrates that Gaga can’t dance, and that she is much more entertaining with elaborate costumes than in a bikini that shows her too conventional body type. I am not saying that she has to have Beyonce-like curves or sex-appeal, but going semi-nude without these features isn’t entertaining. If she is going to dance without crutches it is best that she dances like Beyonce. Gaga looks like a hybrid between Joan Rivers and Amy Whinehouse, uncomfortable and deteriorated. The most entertaining part is the scene where she is dressed in a skeleton costume, in a tux, next to a dude skeleton, also in a tux. The dude doesn’t even move and she just kinda quakes around him. It is entertaining but confusing to the narrative. At first I expected some Star Trek sort of tale, and by the skeleton scene I’m wondering if the whole thing is just an elaborate Halloween performance.

Lady Gaga tries to do the Michael Jackson with a seven minute concept music video, but she misunderstand the purpose. The music is in opposition to the idea of the new infinite-alien-human-modern-monster race that must be protected with Evil. The music is conventional club music, upbeat and too similar to ‘Bad Romance.’

At least M.J. dressed like a smooth criminal and danced like one too. Gaga, however, is trying to hard to push her freak agenda. She wants to be Marlyn Manson with all the glam and none of the gore. Instead Gaga is the Fox News of popular culture, what happens when Marilyn Manson and Cher breed. Sensational and likable.


Daft Punk’s Tron Legacy

Daft Punk – Derezzed


After years of legal disputes, The Beatles and their entire discography arrive to iTunes. Jacob Ganz from NPRMusic reports:

Now, all 13 original Beatles studio albums will be available via iTunes for $12.99 per album. Three collections of hits are priced at $19.99. Individual songs from the band’s catalog will sell for $1.29, the upper limit for songs on iTunes (previously, all songs were priced at 99 cents). A box set of all available material can be purchased for $149.

Forbes reporter Michael Humphrey conducted a seance/interview with John Lennon. It souds like John is upset over the idea of ownership. I bet he would have really loved

Lennon: Music is everybody’s possession. It’s only publishers who think that people own it.

Techo-tainers: Are you advocating piracy?

Lennon: Possession isn’t nine-tenths of the law. It’s nine-tenths of the problem.

Techno-tainers: Yeah, but the music industry has proven quite draconian in dealing with file sharing. What would you do to fight that sense of ownership?

Lennon: My role in society, or any artist’s or poet’s role, is to try and express what we all feel. Not to tell people how to feel. Not as a preacher, not as a leader, but as a reflection of us all.

The Twitter Account that Radicalizes Music Journalism

is Discographies.

The mysterious man/woman/shemale behind the ever-clever twitter account tweets the “definitive guide to an artist’s body of work (studio albums only) in 140 characters or less.”

Some of my favorites:

  • Kings Of Leon: 1-2 “fierce energy” = loud and dull; 3-5 “greater artistic maturity” = each generation gets the Goo Goo Dolls it deserves.
  • Interpol: 1 Find an old photo of Joy Division. 2 Xerox the photo. 3 Draw the Xerox. 4 Stare at the drawing: you’ll never get Closer.
  • Weezer: 1 “Remember that nerdy guy from high school?” 2 “The one who couldn’t talk to girls?” 3-7 “Why are you still hanging out with him?”





Free Weezy!!!

Grammy award-winning recording artist Lil’ Wayne is due out of prison this Thursday, November 4th, 2010. Billboard has an interview with the rapper, and we have a copy of one of his handwritten letters.


Katy, Your Chests are on Fire

Is there anything Katy Perry does that does not involve her breasts?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

DListed reports:

Is there anything Katy Perry’s tits can’t shoot out? Does that mug of Swiss Miss on your desk need a little dressing? Well, Katy Perry’s boobs can spray a dollop of canned whipped cream on that shit. And in her new video for Firework, Katy shows us that we don’t need to pay a visit to The Bang Bang Lady and The Boom Boom Girl, because she can give us an inspirational firework show just by sticking her chest out. Caretitty Stare!

Daily Sample Rate

I rate Madvillain’s sample of Marion Elling, William Loose, and Stu Philip’s “Kelly” as a perfect 10.

The original (1996):

The sampled version (2004):